How to Trick Your Tongue Behind Its Back
If you really want to be a vegetarian but simply cannot imagine going without your fave rave freak-out foods, trick your tongue with equivalent dishes so you won't feel deprived. Worry about living on the dreaded edamame and broccoli juice another day.
F'rinstance:
Very, very BAD: Veal cutlet parmigiana
EXCELLENT: Eggplant parmigiana
BAD: KFC
GOOD: Breaded mushrooms, zucchini, mozzarella sticks
BAD: Burger, rare and charcoal-grilled
WONDERFUL: Hillstone's vegeburger, charcoal-grilled
BAD: Fried onion rings
GREAT: Fried onion rings
Most of the foods we love are all about the breading, the spices, the onions, the sauces, the gravies, weird little ingredients, the grill.
That's why we adore Morningstar Farms frozen
meatless products— the spicing in their little breakfast sausages
is amazingly accurate, truly delicious — and no pork! I'm afraid their
popular C'hikn products taste uncannily like the real stuff — I
can't eat them. Wish they'd bring back their ham slices, though — great
over a campfire with a slice of canned pineapple. So who needs kale?
Tips and tricks
Part of being civilized is being flexible. You may have to meet biz
contacts in diners, or travel in parts of the world where your
vegetarian options are limited.
That's why I pack a box or two of spaghetti and a couple of garlic bulbs just in case. This trick saved me in exotic Tetiaroa, Marlon Brando's private island in Tahiti, where there was nada to eat but a lavish all-seafood buffet. Who doesn't know how to make spaghetti with garlic and oil? I handed it over to the kitchen and fifteen minutes later, problem solved.
-DK-S